today was just…..wonderful.

went to work, didn’t really have to be there..left when i was supposed to be on break..
went to church…church was good.
came home, went to lunch with my aunt and uncle…
and even though we argued a little bit, it was still ok…and even though we argued a little more a little later, that was ok too…
came home, took a MINI nap…watched a little potter…
had a discussion with my family about…idk..another thing we don’t agree on..idk.
went out to eat for my cousin’s bday dinner..
even though i don’t have any money…and my savings account looks like poo…

..um…..i’m not even sure if i’m being sarcastic or not to be honest…
idk if today was wonderful or not..i just know i was high..so….that’s probably what made everything so beautiful…. 

women’s eyebrows are so fucking sexy to me.

i don’t like seeing you with another girl.
i don’t like the thought of you with another girl.
i don’t like pretending that you’re not with another girl.
i don’t know her, and i don’t even like her, because you’re with her.

you’re different with her.
it’s like…you were ashamed to be with me. 
maybe i’m gullible..and i give in too easily.
maybe i wish so hard that what you say is true, that i’ll believe anything you say.
maybe you only continue to fuck with me RANDOMLY because you know i’ll do anything for you.
maybe i know you take advantage of me to help yourself feel better, but i condone it because i’m stupid and naive.
maybe i still follow you on twitter, and tumblr, and i’m still friends with you on facebook in hopes that one day, you’ll come back. 
even though i know you won’t. 

i still care a great amount, and i’m embarrassed for that.
i pretend that i’m okay with the fact that i’m your puppet.
i still cry over you..and i still go to a “bad place” after thinking about you.
there’s a voice in my head that sounds like yours and won’t go away 

i’m still in love with you.
and i tried convincing myself that i’m not..
but i really am.
 

there’s not enough room for you in my head or my heart..
you’re kicking a lot of important shit out…
still…..